Cheesing Up Metropolis


Let's be honest, superhero movies are all a little cheesey. Some, like Batman Begins or X-Men seek to tone this down & explore the dark side of human nature. Some, like the Spider-Man flicks, embrace their 4-color roots with humor and excitement. And some use the most expensive special effects (note the absence of the word "best") available to pack 3 hours so full of cheesey lines ("I forgot how warm you are"), bad acting, and lame plots that it seems to last for 17 hours. Not even Kobe Bryant's talk with his wife after the trip to Colorado didn't feel this long.

Plot Summary: Superman is Jesus, but the DaVinci Code one. The role of Mary Magdalene is played by Lois Lane who continues to demonstrate absolutely no reason (other than hotness) why the (super)men in her life are fawning over her. Sure, she's got moxie, but so does Lex Luthor and no one is rushing to marry the bald guy. Anyone, there's 3 hours of Christ imagery in a red cape. And Superman doesn't punch anyone or anything! I guarantee when they pump Sly Stallone full of Lenin-style chemicals so he can make "Rambo Returns", he'll get to shoot something.

On the bright side, since it was the unannounced sneak preview, it was half price, so it could have been worse. And they serve Paulaner hefe-weizen in a chilled glass at the theater, so that helped.