In what is sure to elicit waves of joy from Red Sox Nation and Rangers Village, SI reported that A-Rod tested positive for steroids in 2003. Of course, this was back when steroids were ok, so don't hold it against the Baseball Jesus. However, unlike other reviled juiced stars like Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens, A-Rod never testified about steroids. His lack of obvious rage, a gargantuan head or biceps resembling those of the Hulk implied that, while supremely annoying, he was clean. Normally, sportswriters would feel the need to write tortured, "we thought we could trust this wholesome, wife-beating/cheating/egomaniacal slugger, but now we can trust no one in baseball" columns, but in this instance we will instead be treated to sports pages across the country (well, outside New York) with the headline "Cheating Douchebag!"
Photo copyright SI or one of their photographers
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