Monday, February 02, 2009

So You're Dating A Douchebag

In its ongoing quest to cover the entire obnoxious spectrum of New Yorkers, the New York Times has finally shed some light on the heartbreaking plight of the shallow gold digger. If you're like me, you've been so outraged at the idea of sleazy douchebag bankers in Manhattan getting tax money to bail them out of their own greedy mistakes and haven't been thinking of the human cost. What about all the hot young women relying on these egotistical jackasses for support? How can we expect them to suddenly find time in their busy shopping schedules to emotionally support their men? Like this one that was married on Nov 1st:

“One of his best friends told me that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35,” Ms. Davis said. “It’s not what I signed up for.”

It's heartbreaking, really. To be fair, they claim that the loss of monetary perks isn't the problem:

“It’s not even about a $200 dinner,” Ms. Petrus said. “It’s that he’s an alpha male, he’s aggressive, he’s a go-getter, he doesn’t take no for an answer, he’s confident, people respect him and that creates the whole mystique of who he is.”

Fair enough. Let me just look ahead and quote Ms. Petrus's soon-to-be-ex on why he's dumping her for a younger, hotter, crazier-in-bed model:

"It's not even about the sex with a 22-year-old model. It's that she's exciting, spontaneous and not constantly nagging me about how much time I spend at work"

1 comment:

Chad W said...

To quote a great philosopher: Life ain't nothing but bitches and money.