But Coach, She Said She Was an Expert at Oral Motivation!

Following their 1-0 win over Italy, several Egyptian players celebrated the traditional way -- with hookers.

Of course, no team wants to be tagged with the copycat label. Other pro soccer players & teams have recently been in the news for sharing prostitutes, multiple hooker orgies, and questions of mistaken gender, but the Egyptians dug deep and found a new angle -- "We Wuz Robbed!" Five players originally reported wallets stolen with a total of $2400 dollars, but they were at a loss to describe how their hotel rooms had not been broken into nor belongings rummaged through. Instead, cops believe that either they bought $2400 in extremely personal services (and were looking for South Africa's hard-earned rep as the African version of Detroit to bail them out) the short-term employees ripped them off, OR tipping is more of a two-way street in the Southern Hemisphere.

No matter the final story, kudos to the team and FIFA for finding a way to distract me from the USA's miserable 135 minutes of soccer since being up 1-0 on Italy.