Confed Cup: USA - Italy 1st Half

4:40 - The first clear flop of the game came courtesy of, no surprise here, Camoranesi. If I were Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy, I would say that's a wop move if I ever saw one. And, suck it, Trebek.

8:05 - How is it that Landon has been at exactly the same level of "balding" for the last 5 years? Is it possible he just cuts his hair this way?

9:50 - Nice job by Demerit to clear a ball that was not dangerous, then for the USA to leave Camoranesi unmarked near the back post. Ever the polite guest, Handy-Cam tries to give some fan in the upper deck a souvenir.

11:00 - Apparently the Italians do remember that the best player on the field in their World Cup matchup was Landon Donovan. They show their respect with a blatant foul. Classy bunch. Good pizza, though.

13:50 - I think Bob Bradley might want to rethink his pregame strategy of telling Altidore, "If we're going to beat them, you have to take them off the dribble, regardless of the numbers."

15:00 - Apparently reserves in La Liga must be more than 3 yards behind the last defender to be considered offsides, based on Altidore's positioning.

17:20 - Michael Bradley's frustration at not yet yearning a yellow leads him to crush a ball over Bornstein's head. Or maybe he's just annoyed with all US leftbacks for turning the side into a sieve over the last few months.

19:30 - Handy-Cam goes down faster than Lehman Brothers stock price and Bornstein gets a yellow for tapping him on the shoulder.

32:00 - The ref apparently believes that a foul deserving of yellow is a red for Clark -- immediately after missing a clear foul by the Italians. I didn't realize Bennet Salvatore was working this game.

34:30 - While intentionally slapping Donovan in the face is only a yellow.

38:00 - Bornstein fights to take Beasley's spot as the new Agoos with an extremely well-placed own goal. Or not -- Handy Cam was generously offsides. "I'm so mad I'm a gonna smasha thesea barrels!" is his response.

39:30 - Altidore being held in the box is justly called as a penalty, so perhaps it's not Salvatore working the whistle.

40:20 - GOOOOOOOOAAALLLLLLL!!!!! Landon buries the penalty as Buffon dives toward the hair gel to his right rather than the ball to his left. Looking good is its own reward.

44:00 - Timmy! Howard is looking damn fine in goal.

45:00 - I think Lippi is the Italian Wade Phillips. He always has that confused look of a senior citizen trying to understand Star Wars.

45:00 + 1:50 - If this is what it takes to fire up Landon, Bob Bradley should elbow him in the face before every game.