Sunday, July 26, 2009

Gold Cup Final, USA v Mexico 1st Half

9:00 What's the over/under on time til the first example of Mexico jackassery? I'm thinking 17 minutes.

13:00 annnnnnnddd you should always take the under on Mexico jackassery.

18:00 Why are Spanish-speaking announcers better? English-speaking announcers will say "big cross." with the same intonation I use when I say, "Hmmmm... I need more toothpaste." Univision? "caaaaaambio laaaarrrrrgoooo!" the same way I would react to winning the lottery.

23:30 If you had "24th minute" in the 1st USA yellow card pool, you win!

27:00 I'm having trouble deciding between full-screen and more pixelation than MTV's The Real World or the 3in x 4in plug in. Ugh. Either way, if we see Hand of God 2.0, I'll think it's legit.

30:40 The keepers were looking bored, so both teams decide to badly over hit dangerous through balls. That's just good sportsmanship.

35:00 When did Spanish from Old School become the Mexico keeper? "Don't sorry me, babe. And shake the tail when you walk. You're better than that."

36:15 "Hopeful" would be an incredibly generous way to describe Beckerman's slide tackle/shot combo. I would have a better chance picking up women at an Indigo Girls concert while wearing my "I Heart Hot Moms".

38:00 Is it just me or is Mexico slightly less dangerous than Spain or Brazil? Unfortunately, the USA looks less dangerous than Mexico.

42:00 How much would it cost to get the announcer to announce my day at work? A sample:

Richardson, Chong and Barr take the elevatorrrrrrr! Dooooowwwwwnnnnnnn!
(quieter) Richardson looks to be going to get coffee. Very dangerous.
He makes the choice. It's a lattttteeeee macccchiiiiiiiaaatttoooooooooooooo!

45:00 I don't know if that was a foul or not outside the box, but Ching (was it Ching? I know it was one of the blurry guys) can't cough up the ball at midfield like that. Beasley-esque.

47:00 "Yay Heeeps" cracks me up everytime I hear it.

48:12 The ref was clearly waiting for the goal kick before calling the half - why? Was he expecting Perkins to mistakenly kick it in the goal?

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