Wednesday, July 15, 2009

LiveBlogging: Sotomayor Confirmation Hearings EXCLUSIVE!!!

Through my sources* in the Senate, I have obtained a copy of Judge Sotomayor's FBI background check. Here are the juicy bits:

- Saw Titanic 5 times. In a row. While only paying for one.

- Tells friends she prefers being called "wiseass Latina"

- Once considered joining the Communist Party in order to "meet some hot guys in olive drab"

- At a Judicial Conference party, once beat 4 consecutive sitting Supreme Court Justices in beer pong. The last was accompanied by a boisterous cheer of "suck it, Sc----!"

- While underage, was arrestested for trying to buy beer using the excuse "My name isn't SotoMINOR"

* Ok, fine, source, singular. The name rhymes with Blon Blornyn.

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