Internet Tool Developed to Accelerate Insanity Process

The good folks at mediotiempo.com have a simulator allowing obsessed soccer fans like me to figure out how the CONCACAF standings will play out over the next 3 games. With a win last night over El Salvador, the US is in decent position to qualify, though the other results have made it closer than I'd like. The results of my time playing with the simulator have told me that because the USA failed to get points at Mexico and Costa Rica, the Hex is likely coming down to the final gam against Costa Rica. The only way to avoid this is to win the next two road games -- somewhat likely in Trinidad & Tobago, not so likely in Honduras. Which means the final game against Costa Rica won't be for winning the group, as it appeared in May, but to avoid the playoff games against the 5th place CONMEBOL team (currently Colombia, possibly Argentina if they can fire Maradona in time to stop the bleeding).

In Schadenfreude news, Diego Maradona oversaw Argentina's first home loss in World Cup qualifying. In his defense, he said that his players were not allowed to following his recommended training regimen of snorting a line of coke off a hooker before each half. "If the authorities will allow me to train my players as I trained, we will be dominating the world in no time. Messi has the potential to be better than me, if only he can gain 100 pounds and clear his mind with the sweet, sweet powder."