Tuesday, November 24, 2009

LOTR Rewatch: The Return of the King Part 2

0:30 - Oh, that Gimli. Always causing trouble.

4:35 - While I agree with Frodo's decision to panic (note a theme?), I think he's left it a bit late.

9:15 - Seeing visions of Galadriel while on the edge of Mordor? Not a good omen for the ringbearer.

12:05 - Do they still call it Greek Fire in Middle Earth?

16:25 - What happened to Frodo's impenetrable mithril vest? Or is it not spider-proof?

20:28 - How do they know the name & gender of the spider? Does she have a name tag?

21:29 - Do Tower guards not know how to check for a pulse?

22:44 - "Get the women and children out!"?!? Why weren't they already evacuated? Or is it Bring Your Family to Battle Day?

28:25 - Eomer grabs a spear out of midair -- how does that work?

32:14 - Ok, these four-tusked elephants are pretty freaky. But the bigger they are...

36:00 - Good to see Eowyn hamstring the freakshow orc. Though if they're so uncomfortable in sunlight, why aren't they all pasty? Or is this one an IT orc?

38:40 - So do flying lizards taste like chicken? Probably like really gamey dark meat.

45:00 - If you can't share a moment on a battlefield, where can you share one?

50:00 - Sam's dream come half true -- a shirtless Frodo!

51:00 - Will we never see peace among orc-kind in our time? Can't we all agree to hate men and not each other?

53:25 - It seems like Mordor is into building cool buildings but not so much into the upkeep. I respect that.

58:00 - Gandalf's desire to give up is impressive, but fortunately Aragorn is there to provide the necessary dose of sack up.

1:02:00 - Good thing the "black tongue of Mordor" isn't, technically, spoken in Mordor. That could've been awkward for the lads.

1:06:00 - This happens to me all the time at the gym -- totally exhausted after a hard workout and then out of water. I feel your pain, Frodo.

1:10:00 - And our contest for ugliest servant of Sauron has a winner! Congratulations to the guy with no eyes and no regard for dental care! I do wonder what's written around the mouth of his mask, though. And Wikipedia tells me that it says "Voice of the Dread Abomination". Thank God for nerds with time on their hands.

1:13:00 - It's pretty cool of Sauron's forces that they let Aragorn do his Henry V impression.

1:15:40 - "We're on the side of an active volcano being hunted by evil. Let's chat about the Shire!"

1:18:20 - What happened to their horses? One minute everyone is on horseback, the next they're making a charge on foot. And that reminds me, with all those horses and elephants in the earlier battle, you'd think that bodies wouldn't have been the only piles on the battlefield.

1:20:50 - If there's one thing giant eagles hate, it's flying reptiles. Who can blame them, really?

1:26:36 - "Don't you let go!" This scene is pretty much taken from "North By Northwest", except Frodo is playing the part of Eva Marie Saint.

1:30:55 - "If ever I was to marry someone, it would've been her!" So, I guess hobbits don't have gay marriage, either.

1:31:35 - Cue the first of multiple endings!

1:34:56 - And the second.

1:40:00 - And the third.

1:42:56 - Sam's just been to hell and back, so why does Rosie look like she's aged so much more than he has?

1:46:26 - It's nice of Elrond, Galadriel and Himbo to meet the ringbearers. Though Bilbo reminds me of some of Grandpa Simpson's friends at the home in this scene.

1:52:12 - And the fourth.

1:53:52 - And the fifth. And final! Aaaaaaaannnndddddd, we're done.

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