Saturday, November 14, 2009
My Tummy Track Marks
When I went to the pharmacy to pick up my medicine for my foot surgery, I was a bit surprised to get a box full of syringes. Um, what? One of the many reasons* I didn't pursue a career in medicine was that I had no desire to stick people with needles**.
When I expressed my surprise to my doctor, he countered with surprise that I didn't know how to give myself a shot. I told him the theory was perfectly clear, but that I didn't fall into the three categories of self-injectors:
1. People with chronic medical problems, such as diabetes or repeated rabies scares
2. Heroin users
3. General freaks that inject themselves for fun, like Slipknot fans.
He did not share my lack of enthusiasm, and now I'm in the first category and get the joy of shooting my stomach*** full of something (placebo?) every morning. Which has led me to the nice line of horizontal track marks you see above. I can't wait to wear my belly shirts -- track marks + tummy hair = Sexxxxxxyyyyyyyy!
* Laziness and lack of concern for fellow human beings were also high on the list
** With some exceptions. I'm looking at you, Pelosi and Hannity.
*** It's the most convenient significant fatty deposit I have.