Pro Hoops -- Deutschland Style

The Düsseldorf Giants-Paderborn Whatevers game last night had much in common with a Mavs game -- a sweet VIP lounge, a gangly German draining threes, cougars, and cheerleaders/dancers sporting ass antlers. In addition, there were twins goofier than the Lopez brothers, Sideshow Bob Terwilliger jerseys, synchronized unicycling, a Santa lookalike, PGs trading punches and more.

The highlight of the game, for me, was when Paderborn's coach called an angry timeout as the 'dorf made a run to put the game almost out of reach. He immediately yelled at his team, "what the hell are we doing on defense?" I took advantage of our seats behind the visitors' bench to yell back, "Not much!" One of the players saw me -- he wasn't amused. He should have given me some credit, though. Up until that point, I'd amused myself by yelling "You suck, Paderborn!" It actually was a compliment compared to how they actually played.

As for the dancers, I do like their innovative move of having more revealing outfits in the second half. It definitely keeps the fans interested in a blowout. Or would, if the dance troop wasn't called the Düsseldorf Butterfaces*.

Two trends that I think the NBA will adopt in the next 5 years -- sponsor logos on the front of the jerseys and businesses sponsoring specific players (they pay part of their salary). Which major bank will sponsor Allen Iverson? He would have been perfect for John Thain's Bank of America -- egotistical individual driving his team's to ruin while claiming he deserved exorbitant compensation.

And, of course, the capper -- the game clock didn't work for the entire 4th quarter.


* Tobias thought they should be called the DDorf B-Cups.