In 2008 I made resolutions. How did they go? Let's look back.
The 2008 List:
1. Fake my own death - Not done. But I was tempted.
2. Ignore all election coverage outside of The Onion & The Daily Show - Close, but not quite. I would say 97% of my election info was from The Daily Show.
3. Mend fences with my exes - Meh. I've done my mending.
4. Stop throwing my exes under the bus to mutual acquaintances - Sort of. I opted to just not have mutual acquaintances.
5. Escalate blaming of exes when talking to anyone else - Sadly, no.
6. Try dental tape instead of dental floss - Nope. Couldn't find any in the dorf.
7. Alienate more friends & family before their birthdays, reconcile immediately afterward - I did the first part!
8. Swear less in English - Fuck, no.
9. Swear more in German - Scheiß, ja!
10. Drink less at home - Um, no.
11. Drink more at work - Sadly, also no.
12. Look into switching to a more respected career -- organized crime, oil industry lobbyist, etc. - Nope, still working for The Man.
13. Wear chaps more often - Not a once.
14. Keep caffeine addiction to a manageable minimum - Halfway. It's manageable.
15. Discover whether or not San Marino is, indeed, a myth. - No. Why ruin a good mystery?