Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Best of 2000s - Ultimate Moments

While the closest I came to UPA Nationals was a play-in for the 1st coed championship, I still managed to have a decade filled with strong memories. For non-ultimate players, this will likely be even more boring than my usual drivel.

Facebook users should see the original post here, as there are videos and photos that FB hates.

Dishonorable Mention -- Most Uncomfortable Moment: Winter League 2001 - Maria & Jerral air their grievances - midpoint. What started as an all-too-typical argument about a call devolved into a profanity-laced lovers' quarrel. When I asked Rex, the opposing captain and reigning poobah, if we should do something, he snorted and said "I'm not getting involved." Shortly afterward Diana shut them up and play resumed. After all, EVERYONE is scared of DeeDee.

10. Paganello 2007 - In general, not that great of a tournament, it was notable only for a game that came down to ultimate (universe, double-game, whatever) point. We managed to turn it over on our own goal line before I got a layout block in the endzone, followed by a spectacularly dumb throwaway which was saved by Jules' MONSTER ho block, also in the end zone. We then marched it down to score and ensure that last place wouldn't be ours.

9. Kansas City 2003 - Charlie decided to forego amazing KC BBQ in favor of crappy tacos and drinking in the van. His theme music? 50 Cent's "Go Shorty, It's Your Birthday". For 90 unrelenting minutes. He topped it off with chucking discs over our heads and avoiding death by Uromysitisis poisoning with some quick thinking in our host's backyard.

8. Erlangen 2006 - My second tournament win of the decade was also Mother Tongue's only win so far. It also somehow convinced Sheila that I was a D player after I shut down some high school kid in the semifinals. Heh.

7. Galveston Beach Tournament 2001 - Getting to the semis (maybe?) as Dirty Sanchez and the Three Amigos was sweet. Jen (aka "Dirty Sanchez" not learning what a "Dirty Sanchez" was or why we insisted on holding our fingers under her nose in photos until the end of the day was sweeter. Let's just say I made a smart move withholding information. Unfortunately, I haven't played with Alex since.

6. Winter League 2003-04 - It was a HUGE amount of work, but it is definitely one of my proudest accomplishments (and it was a great season) -- the league split, the hat tournament, . And what I'm most proud of? Not killing Steve and Sarah for their incredible obnoxiousness during the draft. Jackholes.

5. Bibione 2008 - While the on-field success of 8th out of 30ish teams was nice, what made Bibi so great was that it was basically 3 days and nights of hanging out with great friends and laughing non-stop (largely due to me and my sidekick, Benny). Of course, Chunk took this as a sign that he should leave for BC and take a vow of electronic silence. It was probably our mid-point serenade of "My Chunk" to the tune of "My Humps" that made him leave the country. It definitely wasn't the repeated awesome play of Anja or "Reija being Reija" , or Michael's habit of getting a game-saving monster layout block in every game.

4. Poolimate 2009 - My next-to-last tournament of the decade also was the most satisfying. We beat the defending (and soon-to-be repeat) German coed champions twice on Sunday in addition to beating 2 other teams that made Deutsch nationals. In the final we were down 6-4 (after several horrendous throws by moi) before Franzi, Tobi and Oli laid the smack down in a most righteous manner. And I got a foot block and a point block at 6-5 after the game was capped at 7. Not bad at all. We won the last three to take it and then I ran off the field to go to work.

3. Savage Seven 2000 - Nothing* is sweeter than winning a game you have no business winning. Down 5-4 in a game to 7, Melinda had to leave to go home for class or a nap or something lame. The team led by Captain Nuclear Bitch from Austin scored to make it 6-4 in our first point of playing 6-on-7. However, we scored on the next point as they tried to get tricky with a zone, and then got a D with our own zone to tie it up. At this point, their captain lost her shit. She continued to travel, but we started to call it, and she could not handle this. Amidst a flurry of screams, she threw it away, John & I took off for the end zone aaaaannnndd... I caught the game winner (she didn't bother to play defense, adding laziness to bad spirit and whininess to her qualities on display). Of course, we lost the next game badly, but the win felt sooooooo good.

2. Texas Sectionals 2000 - The first time the Lemurs went to Sectionals, Texas had A and B divisions. We went into the B, figuring A was far too much for us. Rice U also went to the B division and then drove their punk asses home on Saturday after we beat them like rented mules, 15-4 (they started the game talking about an easy win before going out for the night - suckas!). Up first on Sunday? The Dallas My Bad team, including Effing Tony. At 5-0 for the Lemurs, he yelled "C'mon, we can beat this bullshit zone!" right before Mike Smith got a monster block, scored and bellowed, "How do you like that bullshit zone now?" My Bad then shut up and took their ass kicking like good kids. The final was another big win for us, this time over longtime rival Riverside, with Dan Mercurio getting an unbelievable full-layout greatest to me. I immediately threw for a score to try to steal some of his glory, but to no avail. To top it off, it was also the debut of the "Broken neck or broken femur, nothing stops a drunken lemur" and "Crack monkey D -- swingin' lemur O!" cheers.

1. Jackson 2002 - After getting humiliated by Chain 15-1, we got our act together against Helmar to take an early lead. We squandered it as they realized that Chip was on the team for his hucking more than his cock-blocking and they tried to shut him down. We tied it at 15-15, then we switched to a zone crumble and put the smack down 17-15 on a sweet huck from Bryan to Mike. A loss to Tanasi put us against Black Angus, and a win and forfeit from the old Houston guys meant that "WE'RE NUMBER NINE!" would be heard many a time during the party (which we won). Later highlights include Brent's last-ever night of rum, far too much leg humping, and Dan winning a bout of smack talk with some mouthy Houstonians.

* Except maybe winning a world or national title. I wouldn't know.


Steve said...

Dude, seriously, stop living in the past.

hunrwina - Attila's great aunt.

seanlb said...

wow. that really brought back a lot of memories. if i start thinking about my top ultimate memories, i can't goto sleep for hours. good list. maybe one day i'll be playing again, and i'll write my own version.



Brent said...

Seriously, how can you remember all of this! I do remember the savage game, so sweet. The night of rum should never be mentioned again.