Saturday, April 10, 2010

DVD Review: The Last Legion

It's never good when casting negatively impacts your options when making a flick. For instance:

  • Aishwarya Rai as the leading lady -- sure, she's smokin' hot, exotic (to western eyes), and a decent actress. Unfortunately, since Bollywood is her bread and butter, a smoldering look or two and some hand-holding is as passionate as you get. And if you want her to do an Ursula Andress-style coming-out-of-the-water scene, she's doing it wearing a burlap sack*
  • Colin Firth as the action hero -- he's just too, well, English. I kept expecting him to tell his ass-kicking costar that he's really in love with Jane Eyre**.
  • The wide-eyed kid -- If you're going to try to make me swallow the tripe of hereditary monarchy, at least pick a kid that I don't want to see killed off.

So: Sets worthy of MST3K, lame plot, bad casting. And a story that was weak in spite of 2 screenwriters and 3 story creators. Ouch. Were I not on a booze break, I'd be doing some serious drinking during/after this one. So, for the blurb on the back of the DVD: "Perfect for a night of binge drinking!"

1 star, out of 5. or 10. Go crazy!

* I'm not kidding.
** I couldn't remember the name of the heroine in Pride & Prejudice or Sense & Sensibility or Whining & Wankery.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Aishwarya,What a tempting ass and its crack. Fuckable all night.