Sunday, May 16, 2010

Ultimate-Related Lies I Told Myself This Weekend

In no particular order...
  • "I can make this throw." Oooooh, try again, Pottsie.
  • "If I layout, I can get this D." Nope, you can get a front-row seat for a score.
  • "That was not a pop I heard from my ankle." Actually, it was. But until you get a snap and a crackle with it, you'll be ok.
  • "I'm not going to blow this throw after a good coach." No, you're going to make a throw that both blows AND sucks.
  • "Just because I'm playing like a retarded monkey, I'm not going to yell 'FUCK'." No, wait, I am.
  • From the tent on Friday:
    • "I'm going to be warm after I zip up the sleeping bag." Keep trying, slick.
    • "I'm going to be warm after I put on my hat" Not quite.
    • "I'm going to be warm after I put my jacket on top of my sleeping bag." Almost there...
  • "I'm not going to bail on the party before 1 am." Hellllooooooo, tent.
  • "I can cover this guy."  Well, you could -- until he scored.
  • "I will listen to this whole song before mocking the band." In my defense, it was very mock-worthy.

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