Monday, January 31, 2011

30 Rock Live Blogging: Facebook Status Updates Episode 5.11

One of the best sources of status updates is 30 Rock.  Full of good quips on either side of the border of Good Taste / Being JT.  But I know many of my readers are busy*, so I'm going to save you all the fun of watching so you can skip straight to being a jackhole.


Acceptable Status Updates (Good Taste):
  • wants his wedding ceremony to be performed in the middle of a non-stop party.
  • is doing everything possible to make us seem profitable
  • 's schveltz is filled with boinkus
  • don't get me started on the monkeys
  • senses more complaining in you
  • is not a spy!
  • 's blood tastes like root beer
  • isn't the one who forgot our 1-minute anniversary
  • can't even find Mexico on the map
  • has all the makings of a reality-TV star: hair-pullingness, delusions of grandeur, an insanely short fuse, catchphrases...
  • has asked you NOT to call me at home after 11. Or before.
  • knows what art is -- it's paintings of horses
  • thinks elegance and attitude are the same thing

Unacceptable
Status Updates (Being JT):
  • is hosting the International Porn Awards
  • 's schveltz is filled with boinkus
  • thinks Hitler and Martha Stewart would've hated that wedding
  • is dating Squeaky Fromm
  • 's alarm clock died in a cock fight last night
  • thinks marriage is finding her weakness, then viciously exploiting it
  • thinks if you have more than 2 colors on a tie, you're "looking for a certain kind of bar"
  • just wants to be accepted for who he is -- a sexual maniac
  • wonders if you have any meth. Or meth?
* Most of my readers are too busy to actually read or visit my blog.

1 comment:

Steve said...

Half my statues come from 30 Rock or They Might Be Giants lyrics.

conzinc - having the property or characteristic of being opposed to zinc.

That one was too easy.