I always feel guilty when I forget birthdays, anniversaries, etc. so this year I'm not going to. So, to all of you for whom the following apply, let me wish you...
Congratulations on the birth of your child(ren)!
Congrats on your marriage/divorce!
You got the mole removed? Niiice!
Wow! Those look great -- but doesn't your back hurt now?
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Veterans/Memorial/Labor/Independence/Arbor/Columbus/Presidents/MLK/Grandparents/Women's Day
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Father's Day!
A Successful Whacking Day!
A Lascivious Holiday of Mouth Pleasures
A tip-top Tet!
A solemn, dignified Ramadan*
Feel free to add any I missed!
* If you don't know, those last 5 were from the Simpsons