Acceptable Status Updates:
- is trying to sail an inflatable cat across the Pacific
- knows that being himself doesn't work
- was there when Lutz belvedered
- thinks the ocean is awesome and for winners -- YOU're for tools
UNacceptable Status Updates:
- thinks female jealousy is an evolutionary fact
- supports women -- he's like a human bra
- 's new rival is a 9th grade girl
- thinks Sir Ian McKellen must be knee-deep in boob
- is an adult now -- he doesn't have fantasies any more.
- hopes his legacy is a Sesame Street-type TV show that promotes illiteracy in girls
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