Saturday, April 02, 2011

30 Rock Live Blogging: Facebook Status Updates - Plan B

Sorry for the delay! I had some logistical problems but, to quote Lando, "I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever." Hooray!

Acceptable Status Updates:
  • is doing God's work -- yesterday he kicked two naked people out of a garden
  • is going on a forced hiatus
  • is power wagging
  • 's Plan B is something with vampires -- everything has vampires
  • is, pardon his French, bonjour
  • senses something, a presence he hasn't felt since...
  • 's cheekbones are like granite
  • thinks licking an envelope is a sin -- unless you're married to it

UNacceptable Status Updates:
  • click-click-click -- that's right, JT just put you in your place in African
  • is an oxymoron, like liberal government, female scientists or Princeton football
  • is watching Gay SportsCenter
  • is a gay shark
  • is on LinkedIn -- he might as well be dead
  • wonders why no one will poke him -- he's cool
  • married a shiny black dancer named Cashmere and mixed our sperm together so we wouldn't know whose baby was whose
  • is exploding -- and not in a good way
  • is a straight shooter -- except at the urinal
  • charges $5,000 for kissing, $10,000 for snuggling -- end of list

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