Wednesday, May 18, 2011

America's Next Top Terrorist!

OK, Al Qaeda may be good at a lot of things*, but building a buzz is NOT one of them. It's been a week since Osama Bin Laden's** "death"***, and they've already announced an interim leader,

Why interim? Al Qaeda by-laws require their ruling council**** to sit together in one place, and apparently they're in several different shitholes instead of the same one.

But this post isn't to criticize their choice -- he's an Egyptian terrorist who likes suicide bombings (by other people), poetry and the Yankees -- all important qualifications. This is to criticize their lack of imagination. We've seen hits like American Idol, the Eurovision Song Contest, hell, even America's Biggest Loser -- why not pick their next leader this way? Each week their ruling council could vote one of the asshats off, assuming he***** didn't survive an immunity challenge such as quoting the Koran while dodging bullets, twisting Mohammed's words to justify killing children, or juggling grenades (that may, or may not, have the pin in them).

Who wouldn't watch it?

Photo courtesy of -- thanks!
* Killing people, saving water by not showering, grainy video statements -- they're a triple threat!
** Did you know that Osama Bin Laden means "Bearded Asshole" in Arabic?
*** The quote marks are an attempt to get some of those conspiracy theory nutjob hits!
**** The Pentavarate
***** Yes, i meant "he". Even wearing a burqa, a women isn't going to be telling these jackholes what to do

No comments: