Sunday, August 28, 2011

Note To Nature - No More Wasps

So, Mother Nature/God/Evolution/Liberal Media are apparently not satisfied with the number and variety of stinging beasts on the planet, and so now we have this:

That's right -- a Jay Leno-inspired wasp that has jaws longer than its friggin' legs. Ugh. It can be up to two-and-a-half inches long, and has what biologists call "hideous, ungodly eyes that recall the works of H.P. Lovecraft*". Evolution, intelligent design, Spaghetti Monster, whatever -- enough is enough. How about producing some magically tasty animals instead of horror movie rejects? Maybe a Bacon-Wrapped Scallop? Now, THAT is an evolutionarily-stable-strategy

* It's a technical term. Also a fair description of at least one of my exes. Feel free to guess which one!

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