Saturday, September 24, 2011
Recent results from the CERN supercollider* in Switzerland seem to imply that particles are moving faster than light. Researchers have asked the general public to come up with ideas. Being an idea man, I've already solved the problem. Anyone who knows the Swiss know that they are sticklers for efficiency and timeliness. Swiss neutrinos are no different* -- if they were to show up EXACTLY on time, rounding might make them appear late. So they're early. If you run this experiment in Germany or Austria, you get the same result. In Spain or Italy? The particles are a bit slow. In France? They show up hours or days later, after a quantum "greve"**. In the USA? The particles show up on time, but MUCH heavier than expected. * Little-known quantum physics fact -- subatomic particles take on the characteristics of the nation where they're observed. It's the Richardson Nationality Principle ** French for "strike"