Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Who's Up For A Trip To The DMV?

Some crack Saudi researchers recently performed a "scientific" study that "proves" that women driving leads to hedonism and a dearth of virgin brides. Even more shocking, he claims to have heard of a UNESCO study that "linked women driving to adultery, divorce, rape and illegitimate children". Which is odd, as I had the mistaken belief that none of these required cars AND were all prevalent before cars. Clearly, my knowledge of the subjects can't compare to Professor Kamal al-Subhi.

The study goes on to claim that allowing women to drive would "provoke a surge in prostitution, pornography, homosexuality and divorce". Which I have to agree with -- nothing makes me hungry for hookers, porn and gay sex like seeing a woman drive. Actually, how does homosexuality come into play here? I can see an argument* for women driving increasing lesbianism, but male homosexuality? Will the sight of women driving be arousing enough that Saudi men will stick their penis into the nearest human, regardless of gender? Shouldn't we be worried that they'll also be so turgid with automotive-induced rage that animals might be defiled?

Finally, since Dr. al-Brainiac managed to only interview subjects with negative views of the effects of women driving on society, who was peer-reviewing this document?

OK, that's enough ranting. Let's go meet some slutty chicks -- car wash or drivers license renewal?

* A really, really, really stupid one, but still.

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