30 Rock is back! As always, I'm here to sort the various potential Facebook status updates into Appropriate and Inappropriate -- it's how I give back to the little people*. This week was a double episode**, so lots to enjoy. And did IKEA pay for product placement when half the episode was mocking the experience of shopping there?
- is 0-for-40*** on Valentine's Day
- moved to this country to avoid an embarrassing regifting incident
- thinks of Valentine's Day as the burning of a Catholic loudmouth
- is almost listening
- looks like a Far Side drawing
- has organized several dog-and-pony shows and is offended by what you're implying
- is not a vampire, just a night-owl with a terrible garlic allergy
- is going to be up all night stabbing gators
- has to go walk around the park, maybe forever
- wonders if our ape overlords will let us celebrate Valentine's 100 years from now
- has never Mommy-Daddy-sheet-monstered himself
- is living at a 24-Hour Fitness
- is powerless as long as they stay in international waters
- thinks Valentine's is scumbag Christmas
- loves baseball -- the hard bats, Jeter's thighs in those pants...
* Like, say, you
** So was the night I went off my seizure meds then went clubbing. Rim shot!
*** Or will be -- next year