Here we are! In a contest of faceless scandinavians vs dirty, cheating MFers (GFY, De Jong). Which of the DDs* do I cheer for? Duh. Go Denmark!
0:12 - The Dutch showcase their "Total Football" by immediately letting their keeper play with the ball.
0:45 - De Jong wastes no time in getting warmed up, with his first foul. No chance of injury, though, so it seems like his focus is off.
10:12 - For those of you that are curious, the Dutch ditched their ugly light blue socks from the World Cup. I assume it's because opponents' blood showed up too clearly.
15:00 - The Danish** seem content to just let the dutch do their version of Spain's tika-taka and occasionally counter.
22:45 - The Danish players are complaining to the ref, and the Dutch coach looks resigned to the fact that his players are about to do something shady. Or maybe he's just worried about the survival prospects of the Euro.
23:30 - But not before Danish #9 blows past 3 Danish defenders and goes 5-hole*** on the Dutch keeper. Goooooooaallllllllllll!
28:30 - I thought the Danish were just defending before, but now the box looks like a clown car.
32:30 - I can't tell if the orange paint the Dutch fans are wearing has gotten into their eyes, or if they're just baked. Thoughts?
34:30 - I don't think the Dutch spent much time in practice on getting the ball from the defense to the offense. They're just hitting it into space, and then the offensive players don't move.
35:30 - And I don't think the Danish keeper practiced his passing, either. He was about 1 inch of post away from paying for that lazy pass.
37:30 - Robben spends more time with one arm in the air than an actor in a deodorant commercial****
45:30 - The players have clearly stopped playing, so the ref doesn't bother with the final 30 seconds of stoppage time. I don't blame him.
* Dutch-Danish. Get your head out of the gutter.
** Try to get this out of your head. Hint: Try humming this instead.
*** Hockey term!
**** You thought I was going to make a Nazi joke, didn't you?