Saturday, July 28, 2012

You Stay Classy, GOP

All the news that's fit to print -- who would be thorough enough in their coverage of the upcoming GOP convention in Tampa to consider the effect on local strippers? The Grey Lady, that's who. And what did Angelina Spencer, the executive director of the trade association* for strip clubs, have to say on the comparative tipping habits of the two parties?  The GOP makes it rain -- $150 on average instead of the stingy Dems' measly $50 average.

Other snarkable tidbits:
  • When the Promise Keepers were in town, they would come to the clubs wearing their badges.  Clearly these guys were keeping their sexual purity promise.
  • One of the clubs is bringing in a dancer who looks exactly like an unnamed "certain ex-governor from a wilderness state, known for her strong jaw and devotion to guns and God." I need to channel my inner Sherlock Holmes to solve this riddle. 
  • One of the dancers only does it because she was laid off from her job and she needs to save money for nursing school.  I'm assuming the reporter wants you to make air quotes around "nursing school".

* I always thought it was Tasselers Anonymous.  It's not.

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