Monday, February 25, 2013

Do You Hear That Ed? Bears!

Unless you're in Switzerland, and in that case, you just lost your only wild bear. However, being a Swiss* bear, it** didn't actually attack anyone.  It just waited for the German bears to finish off the tourists while it made a healthy profit off their kills.

I kid, I kid! This bear was following humans, which either meant it was: 
  1. Creepy
  2. Bored
  3. About to do some mauling
Rather than arresting it, like most cops, the Swiss just gunned it down*** Of course, the WWF was "extremely disappointed", presumably because the bear wasn't able to maul anyone prior to being put down.

* To be fair, the article didn't mention where the bear was born.  It was probably an illegal immigrant, coming for free health care, I bet.
** Jebus, I'm a blogger.  I don't google stuff, much less probe bears for gender identification.
*** Then sold off its gold and jewelry.  Last Nazi collaboration joke, I swear****.
**** In this post

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