- You can have female slaves, and sleep with them if your wife fails to produce a kid (Go Abraham!)
- You can lie about your marital status to people that want to sleep about your wife that would disapprove of you being married -- but they still get to sleep with her and you're off the hook (Abraham again!)
- If your brother dies without a kid, you MUST marry his widow and knock her up -- or there will be smiting (Onan -- it was not doing his brotherly duty that got him condemned)
- Have another wife -- it's all good. All the big names did it!
- Finally, if you're hearing voices, it's totally ok to climb a hill and slaughter you first-born son. After all, one must have faith.
Of course, these are no longer "traditional" or "biblical", at least if you're the Family Research Council:
"Throughout history, marriage has been future-oriented, focused on the next generation and the best interests of children"
So, if you have problems with the legalization of gay marriage, feel free to ignore the parts of your religious texts that might be awkward for your argument. It's traditional!
Oh, and FYI, the Utah decision didn't legalize polygamy -- it struck down a restriction against "cohabitation". Moral of the story: it's also ok to be a completely uninformed jackass when complaining about something that you think you disagree with.