AP: US Energy Consumption down 20% Due to Daylight Savings
Washington, D.C. (AP). US energy consumption was down 20% from pre-Daylight Savings levels, the US Dept of Energy announced today. "The President's estimate of 10% energy savings was clearly conservative, like the man himself. We look forward to our European allies joining us in later days and lower bills," said spokesman Karly Rovovich. Those "European allies" expressed suspicion and disdain for the administration's numbers. "I think that basing the entire US energy consumption on the electric meter at the President's ranch is suspect. Especially since the President invited us to Crawford for an indoor ice skating event there the week before the time change," German Chancellor Angela Merkel said.
Most amazing was the government claims that "SUVs are more fuel efficient after the time change." Greenpeace spokesman Larry Leftwing retorted, "This is definitely true, though the Department of Energy's decision to test cars after the time change on a downhill rather than a level slope probably had some influence in the results."