Thursday, March 20, 2014

March Madness Live Blogging 2014

Oh yeah! It's my favorite sports time of year -- March Madness! And now I'm ready to stream some games!

In case you were wondering, 2006 & 2007 were bare years for me -- no streaming*.  2008-2011? Awesome. 2012-2013? The NCAA decided it could only stream to the USA. Because of all that money they were leaving on the table from TV providers uninterested in showing the games.  But 2014? I've got a proxy, and I'm ready to rumble!

8:00pm - Finished at the gym, got my smoothie and loaded up the Harvard game.  Bring on the upset!

8:01pm - Commercials running fine!

8:05pm - The NCAA, following its policy on dealing with athletes, has decided to screw me.  Why do I say this? Because the goddamn ADS stream fine, but the games? Technical difficulties.  Reload the page aaaaaannnndddd... after the ad? Technical fing difficulty.  Ugh, I hate the NCAA.  First the hypocrisy, now the incompetence.  Asshats. GFY, NCAA.  G. F. Y.

* That I knew of

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Best. Comment. Ever.

I recently wrote a post about yet another email scam, this one purporting to be from WhatsApp.  What was the first comment?  One from a first-time poster, Steve Finnell.  His comment starts with:
 "Are there translations of the Bible that are not trustworthy? I know of one or two translations out of sixty-plus English translations that are not trustworthy."
and ends with:
"99% of all translation are trustworthy. My translation, of choice, is the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE. You can get to heaven by reading the KJV, TLB-P, the NIV and many other translations.


 Nice! Way to hijack the post, Steve-arino! The Steve-meister, making comments! And excellent job of not reading any of my blog -- this is the e-equivalent of walking into a random conversation and asking, "So, which Veda do you think is most relevant?" Answer? YOU'RE NOT PART OF THIS CONVERSATION. Still, glad to be makin' friends with the Steve-meister!

You stay classy, Steve-O!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

A Tip For Email Scammers

I LOVE receiving email scams -- the bad grammar, the sheer insane optimism -- it's comedy gold. The latest? This gem:
An email telling me I have a WhatsApp voice mail -- clever.  Sending this email from something with "pestexperts" in the email address?  Not so much.

Nice try, and you stay classy, Pestexperts!

Sunday, March 09, 2014

North Korean Election Day Coverage!

It's everyone's favorite day -- North Korean Election Day! That's right, it's been 5 years already!  And now everyone in the world's happiest country* has two choices on their ballots:


So, get out and enjoy your democracy! And don't forget to skip a meal to show your support for Kim Il Chubby!

Seriously, this post was actually not BS.  Check out the deets.

* Except, you know, for every other country

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Dallas Restaurant Review - Chino Chinatown

When I found out my friend, former "The Taste" contestant Uno Immanivong was opening a restaurant, I only had two questions: Where? and When can I get a table? It ends up the answers were Trinity Groves and Opening Night.  Booyakasha!

The extremely helpful hostess helped our party, swollen from 8 to 11, to squeeze into a round table with a nice view of the very active kitchen.  We started, as our waiter suggested, with a cocktail.  It was tasty, a bit tart, and the name is now lost to the sands of time*.  But it's the first on the menu:

 Next up were the starters:  Our group of sharers chose two from the menu, Elotes and Duck Fat Fries. It's hard to say which was the bigger hit -- the rich, sweet and slightly spicy elotes with queso fresco on top or the creamy yucca with a hint of duck-y goodness and topped with cotija. Both plates were immediately cleaned. Any blurriness or poor composition in the attached photos is due to the combat conditions of trying to get a shot while fighting off ravenous friends. It was basically Thunderdome.

 Next up were the Share plates -- we opted for the griled romaine salad, a surprising winner, the amazing chicken lollipops, and the meltingly-tender short ribs.  Others at the table inhaled their barbacoa banh mi sliders before a photo or a taste could be had.  They did rave about them.

Our aptly-named Large plates were Ramen, decadently rich and meaty due to the marrow, sea bass and flank steak drunken noodle.  I normally opt out of sea bass due to pretentious overfishing reasons, but I'm glad I kept my liberal mouth shut and enjoyed the HUGE portion of succulent flesh.
The drunken noodles, a variation on my favorite thai dish, Pad Kee Mao**, was divisive at the table.  Part of the group was off-put by the barely-cooked onions, while the rest hoovered them up and enjoyed the crispy bite that offset the sauce. Personally, I almost came to blows over the last bits. So you know where I stand. The sad remains are shown below:
 Our final Large dish was the Ramen.  The noodles and accompanying tasty bits are cooked separately, then the broth, which I estimated to be 72% bone marrow, is added tableside***.  With only one ladle, the mob was a bit more restrained for this dish, but the popularity was the same.

Size-wise, a pair would probably want a Share and a Large, and even then will likely want to take some home.  However, it's a fun, social place and I would recommend a group of 6 or so like-palated eaters to cover as much of the menu as possible.  And request the table overlooking the kitchen!

As stuffed as we were, we couldn't pass up an offer of Mexican chocolate cake with coconut cream and a heavenly coconut ice cream.  You know how homemade coconut ice cream never even approaches your memory of that one time you had it in Mexico and it changed your life? This one did.  And the cake, with its mole ganache? Yo yo ma.  I'd like to try Kate Weiser's chocolate fortune cookie, but it'll have to wait for the next visit.

As for wine, we opted for the very reasonable Pinot Noir, quite tasty for $36 bucks a bottle.  This is in keeping with the restaurant in general -- with drinks our bill came out to under $30 each. All in all, a fabulous experience, marred only by our waiter's less-than-stellar service.  However, going on the opening night means this sort of thing (plates arriving out of order, a disappearance or two) is to be expected.  If it continues on the next visit,

* And to the pinot noir we had with dinner
** Your mileage and spelling may vary
*** "Tabletop" is a bit more accurate

Monday, December 23, 2013

You Stay Classy, General

OK, many of us have been there -- a work event, you're a bit nervous, so you have one drink too many and make an off-color comment or hit on a coworker. You come to work the next day, a bit red-faced and hungover, and 6 months later you change jobs.

Well, that is not how they do things in the US Air Force! The Air Force was unwilling to half-assedly sexually harass the occasional female like lazy civilians, and instead they went the wholesale sex assault route at Lackland. With the same can-do attitude, AFB Gen. Michael Carey decided that a five-day trip to Russia to liaise with his counterparts in control of Russia's nuclear arsenal was a good chance to get really ripped, make a drunken fool of himself and repeatedly hit on hot women that were, in retrospect, likely spies.  I'd go through the whole list of hijinks, but suffice it to say that he tried to give a fist-bump to a tour guide at a monastery, mocked a translator and then tried to make up for it by calling her beautiful, and spent the morning rides to events sleeping off the previous night's debauchery.  For the rest, check out the writeup:

Of course, what did Chuggin' Carey get for all of this? A change to an "advisory" role that doesn't involve any responsibility.  But not, you know, real punishment.  Ugh.

You Stay Classy, USAF!

Thursday, December 19, 2013

India to USA: Let Us Abuse Our Citizens

I'd like to give a HUGE GFY to India's government on the whole arresting-a-consular-officer thing.  Why?

  • “The worst that can be said about her is that she did not comply with the amounts that was supposed to be paid under your law. I don’t think that justifies treating her like a common criminal” according to India's Foreign Minister Salman Khurshid.  Guess what, asshat? Acting like a common criminal justifies being treated like one.
  • The rights of the maid's family are not equal to those of the officer: “I don’t think they are so valuable to our relationship as a diplomatic officer of the government of India.” So, your government thinks that its officers can break employment laws, even when it harms YOUR citizens?
  • The Indian government was warned in SEPTEMBER about this -- more than two months before the arrest. They did nothing because they “didn’t expect this could happen.” This is the 3rd time since 2010 that Indian government employees have been busted for the same type of law -- and they didn't change their behavior. Will you "expect it to happen" next time?
Thanks to the NY Times for the info!

And anyone in India that is offended by the treatment of the woman arrested, are you also offended by her breaking the law to underpay one of your citizens?  I didn't think so.  You stay classy, India