The Favorite Author Dilemma

A good friend of mine an author-binger. He'd find a new favorite, then read everything by the author*.  Once he'd made his way through the complete works, he'd move on.  So "favorite author" was a constantly changing title.  For me, it was Tolkien from middle school to college, though Clancy, Asimov, and Herbert.  But then I read

and the title belt switched hands. It was just one book, but an internaional-only sequel added to the appeal of a smart kid growing up surrounded by racist morons. Courtenay wore the belt for a few years, threatened by Douglas Hofstadter's "Gödel, Escher, Bach", and then I found Jared Diamond

Sadly (for Jared), I almost immediately read...

Holy crap -- intelligent, multiple voices**, and a shady part of history -- what could be better? But, then I read did a bit of binge-ing myself -- I went through "Pigs in Heaven", "The Bean Trees", and "Animal Dreams". They were good, but none had the magic of Poisonwood.  However, Neal Stephenson had an entirely different kind of magic.
 
Before the Matrix, his big idea-filled mix of near-future sci-fi, political/consumer commentary, sword fighting and Babylonian mythology distracted me from the Wheel of Time.  "Cryptonomicon" and "The Diamond Age" kept the title in Neal's hands, despite the magnificence of "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal", various work by Alan Moore , Grant Morrison, and Brian Michael Bendis tempted, but with "Stiff ", Mary Roach announced her contention. However, after that, an unprecedented flurry of activity came -- 3 books, 3 changes in the title:
Unfortunately, these authors only write books once per, respectively, 18 months, 3 years and too damn long.  So the title tends to change often.  Why do I bring this up?  Because I just downloaded the latest from Mary Roach: 

Will she take the title back from George Martin? I'm hoping yes, because I don't want to wait years for another book from my favorite author.  And, in case you're wondering, Jasper Fforde, JK Rowling, and Robert Jordan were short-changed because this is already far too long
* Easier with some more than others, clearly 
** Like in my head!

Cardinals Keep It All White

The world is changing, and so is the Catholic Church. Or so they want you to believe. They just picked a new pope, Francis*. Said the Vatican spokesman, "We wanted the new pope to represent the growing balance of our flock in the South, but we also wanted, you know, a white guy. And not just kind of white, we wanted lily white. So we found this guy in Argentina, and he was perfect -- speaks Italian, really hid his molesters well, and didn't make waves when his country was killing people by the truckload.  A perfect candidate, or he would be if perfection weren't really . Also, he knew that of all the problems facing Argentina, gay marriage was the worst, followed by the free distribution of contraceptives. Everyone knows if we could fix those two, it'd be exactly what Jesus wanted us to do. Pretty much a no-brainer."

This post was brought to you by my incredulousness that anyone still listens to a pope**.  Also by the word "incredulousness".

* His first choice, Pope Gangnam Style, was rejected for being "so five minutes ago".
** Why? Read a book. Seriously, if you need to ask why this is a bad idea, I direct you to most of the last 2000 years.

I Dream of Shapeshifting Vehicles

My favorite thing about dreams, other than occasionally being able to fly, is how I never question the logic of what is happening while in the dream, no matter how insane it is. And I don't mean Salma Hayek falling for me*, but how the scenario can gradually change without phasing dream-me** at all. We've all had this happen, but what brings it up? Last night's rather insane dream.

It started at a friend's in Nacogdoches, watching the Big Game (but not the Super Bowl).  Which big game? Excellent question, I have no idea. But it was a Game, and it was Big. So there. We ran out of beer, and I volunteered to go on a beer run.  2 of the guys (men, but unidentified) joined me in my '88 Honda Accord (which I sold in 2003 and probably is now dead). When we got to the first stop sign, the Accord was no longer a car but a tricycle. But everyone fit -- I think it had dual seats behind the normal seat. We saw a female friend (known, but won't be identified for her sake) walking to the party, so we picked her up. She also fit on the tricycle, which surprised no one.  At her recommendation, we opted for the Kroger farther away, for reasons that were unclear.

By the time we got to the main street, I was no longer pedaling, but just "walking" the trike -- the third passenger somehow prevented the pedals from working, yet we didn't get off and walk. The other three rode while I waddled along, slowly moving the tricycle. When we got to a major uphill intersection (which doesn't actually exist in Nac), I made everyone get off because going uphill was too much, and we left the trike and just walked.  At this point we looked at each other and said, "We should have gone to the closer grocery store. And taken a car."

Dream-me needs to plan ahead better.

* Clearly, she would.
** Different from dreamy-me, who I am told doesn't actually exist

Do You Hear That Ed? Bears!

Unless you're in Switzerland, and in that case, you just lost your only wild bear. However, being a Swiss* bear, it** didn't actually attack anyone.  It just waited for the German bears to finish off the tourists while it made a healthy profit off their kills.

I kid, I kid! This bear was following humans, which either meant it was: 

1. Creepy
2. Bored
3. About to do some mauling

Rather than arresting it, like most cops, the Swiss just gunned it down*** Of course, the WWF was "extremely disappointed", presumably because the bear wasn't able to maul anyone prior to being put down.

* To be fair, the article didn't mention where the bear was born.  It was probably an illegal immigrant, coming for free health care, I bet.
** Jebus, I'm a blogger.  I don't google stuff, much less probe bears for gender identification.
*** Then sold off its gold and jewelry.  Last Nazi collaboration joke, I swear****.
**** In this post

Equality is a Long, Hard Road... To Murder

When Oscar Pistorius fought the IOC for the right to compete in the Olympics and not just the Paralympics, I didn't realize that he was willing to take it to the next level. After all, if you can take on Usain Bolt, why not OJ?

And so, we're left wondering, why did he (allegedly) shoot his girlfriend? This is, of course, nothing to joke about, but is anyone else wondering if this was 'roid rage?

2012 Wrap-Up: The Good Books

So, not all the books I read were awesome. But there were other goods ones. Here are some more notables:

I'm late to the party on this one, but it was surprisingly good. I also think the criticisms of it being a stereotypical "white liberal saves the blacks" is misplaced. The protagonist is less-than-pristine

Those Guys Have All The Fun -- The juicy bits of the ESPN oral history weren't nearly as interesting as how it has become the business juggernaut that it has. Still, a fun read

Sure, it's Oscar-bait now, but the book outshines the movie. I still hate Salmon Chase and McClellan, though. Jerks.

A great bit of fast-paced "hard" sci-fi. And INCREDIBLY realistic -- IT does everything it can to prevent progress

I'm a Kingsolver fan, sue me. Like "Prodigal Summer", it took me a bit to get into, but I really enjoyed it. It's got Trotsky and Frida Kahlo, what's not to like?

A novelized history of the last 40 years or so of the Mexican drug trade. All the ludicrously unbelievable parts are pretty accurate.

NPR's 40 year old sports reporter tries to become a kicker for the Shanahan Broncos.  Good look at rookie life in the NFL

What if Van Helsing didn't manage to kill Dracula? How about the undead take over Victorian London?

I actually liked her first book, "Gregor and the Underworld", too,  but this was surprisingly good.

The last 30 years or so of Saudi history are fascinating, and will be relevant for a while.

A modern take on "Rendezvous with Rama", but with some changes.  A good novel of first contact, though it abruptly ends in anticipation of a sequel

         Next: The Meh... and Worse

2012 Wrap-Up: The Awesome Books

2012 was my first Kindle year, and it definitely changed my reading habits. Unlike 90% of people who would say this, it had nothing to do with "50 Shades of Grey". Instead, I found I was reading more, surprisingly. So, here's a rundown of my favorite books of the year: 

This is technically a reread, but it was even better than I remembered it. If you haven't read it, slap yourself, then click on the link above to buy it*.

Hilarious and QUITE useful if you plan on doing any time traveling. And who doesn't?

A sequel to the almost-as-awesome "The Magicians", this is pretty phenomenal. Go plow through The Magicians, then devour this one.

Coming Next... The "merely" good.

* Why not support my bloggery?