Monday, February 25, 2013

Do You Hear That Ed? Bears!

Unless you're in Switzerland, and in that case, you just lost your only wild bear. However, being a Swiss* bear, it** didn't actually attack anyone.  It just waited for the German bears to finish off the tourists while it made a healthy profit off their kills.

I kid, I kid! This bear was following humans, which either meant it was: 
  1. Creepy
  2. Bored
  3. About to do some mauling
Rather than arresting it, like most cops, the Swiss just gunned it down*** Of course, the WWF was "extremely disappointed", presumably because the bear wasn't able to maul anyone prior to being put down.

* To be fair, the article didn't mention where the bear was born.  It was probably an illegal immigrant, coming for free health care, I bet.
** Jebus, I'm a blogger.  I don't google stuff, much less probe bears for gender identification.
*** Then sold off its gold and jewelry.  Last Nazi collaboration joke, I swear****.
**** In this post

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Equality is a Long, Hard Road... To Murder

When Oscar Pistorius fought the IOC for the right to compete in the Olympics and not just the Paralympics, I didn't realize that he was willing to take it to the next level. After all, if you can take on Usain Bolt, why not OJ?

And so, we're left wondering, why did he (allegedly) shoot his girlfriend? This is, of course, nothing to joke about, but is anyone else wondering if this was 'roid rage?