Saturday, December 29, 2012

My Birthday Wish

On this, the eve of my old-dom, I have one simple birthday wish -- for DFW-area drivers to LOOK BEFORE THEY CHANGE LANES. I've spent about 6 hours driving on this trip, and I had my fourth near-wreck (including one collision with a side mirror that left no damage) -- all while morons tried to come into my lane without signaling OR even looking. Just adjust your mirrors, check your blind spots or take your head out of your rather copious asses. Ugh.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Where Does PETA Stand On This?

American racehorses that are sent to Canada and Mexico to be slaughtered for European sales as meat are, apparently, too filled with injections to pass as food. Of course, this is a) pretty patently illegal and b) probably Lance Armstrong's fault. But from an animal rights point-of-view*, if the horses are given enough steroids, they can't be sold for meat and so will end up sent out to pasture**. So, IF horse-doping would prevent them from being butchered, would it be ethical for radical PETA guerrillas to go around surreptitiously injecting racehorses? Discuss.

* Do I need hyphens there?
** In my rose-colored world. Though the pasture is more likely to be the waiting room to the glue factory.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

A Stimulus Plan We Can All Agree On

A lot of politicians have claimed that they have stimulus targets that everyone can agree on -- education, infrastructure, health care for children, etc. But we all know that these are just government waste*. What is government for?

 To create peace by fear. And that's why each of you needs to sign this petition to the White House to give funding to a create a Death Star. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're asking (at least) one of these questions:
  • Why do we need this? Won't the Imperial Senate/Congress keep control of individual systems/countries? No, fear of this Death Star will***.
  •  Won't this just be outdated by better technology next year? No, this station is now the ultimate power in the universe
  • Shouldn't we cover those exhaust ports? No need, hitting a 2 meter target is impossible, even for a computer
  • Why should I vote for a stimulus package without a decent theme song? No need to worry -- we have THIS
* Seriously, when was the last time a healthy child gave you a job**?
** Get your mind out of the gutter, Jacko.
*** Also, who's afraid of Congress? Wouldn't that imply competence?

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

What Carrier Does This Idiot Use?

While at the Florence + The Machine concert on Friday (it was AWESOME!), I noticed lots of people holding up smartphones to capture snapshots or video. Not this inventive young moron.

No, this Brainiac is just holding his hands to make it APPEAR that he has a smartphone -- and he did this for about half the concert. Feel free to weep for our future.

Monday, December 03, 2012

Portugal 2012 Food Porn

If there's One thing I love while traveling, it's the food. From street food to swanky dining, I love it all. And the Algarve didn't disappoint -- fresh seafood, local cheese and wine, even a great burger and Indian food! So, enjoy living vicariously through my photos!

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Portugal 2012 Photos

So, I decided to learn to surf. Unfortunately, I made this decision in October, which really narrows down one's options (in Europe). It came down to: Portugal or the Canary Islands. Since I've never been to Portugal, I figured, what the hell? Also, it was much cheaper.

What an awesome trip! The Algarve (the southwestern corner of the country) is beautiful -- pretty arid, but lots of great beaches with waves and warm water even in mid-November. And the food? Sooooooo tasty (but in another post). First? The photos. Enjoy!

I'm Back!

JT in Germany will (at least temporarily) resume! Hopefully for a few posts, at least.