Monday, January 30, 2012
Ahhhh... New York
It's too late to start spreadin' the news, I've already left New York. But I did post photos, with snark. That's how I roll. More to come of art and food. Or not. I wouldn't hold your breath.
Friday, January 13, 2012
30 Rock Status Updates - Dance Like Nobody's Watching
30 Rock is back! As always*, I'm here to sort the various potential Facebook status updates into Appropriate (for Family/coworkers/potential dates) and Inappropriate (or, for my friends, Appropriate). This way you don't have to admit to your friends that you watch "Two and a Half Men" reruns instead of good TV.**
Appropriate:
- is a Doogie Howser type, but younger
- isn't being weighed down by redundant torso fabric
- is finally doing his dream chores
- loves it when the swarthy lady gets the guy
- bet his money on the bobtail nag; somebody bet on the bay
Inappropriate:
- is like a human tumbler of Scotch
- is wearing a dickie
- is logging onto desperationships.com - is leaving the thinking to other religions
- uses Satchel Paige brand tampons
- 's wrist is starting to bother him from slapping busboys
* "Always" in the jtingermany sense of "if i feel like it"
** It wouldn't be a jtingermany post without some pretentiousness, now would it?
Appropriate:
- is a Doogie Howser type, but younger
- isn't being weighed down by redundant torso fabric
- is finally doing his dream chores
- loves it when the swarthy lady gets the guy
- bet his money on the bobtail nag; somebody bet on the bay
Inappropriate:
- is like a human tumbler of Scotch
- is wearing a dickie
- is logging onto desperationships.com - is leaving the thinking to other religions
- uses Satchel Paige brand tampons
- 's wrist is starting to bother him from slapping busboys
* "Always" in the jtingermany sense of "if i feel like it"
** It wouldn't be a jtingermany post without some pretentiousness, now would it?
Sunday, January 08, 2012
2012 Resolutions -- RESOLVED!
I've been less than successful with my resolutions the past few years, so I decided to do more manageable ones for 2012. And it's been a rousing success.
It was tough to do so much in such a short span of time, but I did it. For all of you still struggling with your resolutions, I feel your pain! Good luck, suckers!
* Compared to the total amount of cursing in 2011, you shit-eating dumbass. Sorry, I had a bit of room to spare.
** Compared to the final 3 weeks of 2011.
- Go to the gym. Status: Fulfilled!
- Read a book. Status: Fulfilled!
- See a good sunrise AND a good sunset. Status: Fulfilled!
- Curse less. Status: Fulfilled!*
- Eat healthier. Status: Fulfilled!**
It was tough to do so much in such a short span of time, but I did it. For all of you still struggling with your resolutions, I feel your pain! Good luck, suckers!
* Compared to the total amount of cursing in 2011, you shit-eating dumbass. Sorry, I had a bit of room to spare.
** Compared to the final 3 weeks of 2011.
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