Who Framed Floyd Landis? The F*ing Communists, That's Who
Apparently Floyd Landis has some a rare form of Tourette's that causes him to randomly and frequently lapse into semi-coherent rants about the forces of evil that are conspiring against him. Right now, bookies have the top 5 candidates to next be named Landis conspirators:
1. Dick Cheney - it just feels right
2. Bill Clinton - interns dig scandals
3. Osama Bin Laden - tearing down the moral fabric of america, one spandex-clad infidel at a time
4. Jesus - Motive is unclear, but omnipotence = opportunity & you can't rule him out
5. Communist Insurgents - Seeking to gain a foothold in cycling, Marxist rebels can never be ruled out when explaining irrational American behavior.