Monday, August 14, 2006

Who Framed Floyd Landis? The F*&#ing Communists, That's Who

Apparently Floyd Landis has some a rare form of Tourette's that causes him to randomly and frequently lapse into semi-coherent rants about the forces of evil that are conspiring against him. Right now, bookies have the top 5 candidates to next be named Landis conspirators:

1. Dick Cheney - it just feels right
2. Bill Clinton - interns dig scandals
3. Osama Bin Laden - tearing down the moral fabric of america, one spandex-clad infidel at a time
4. Jesus - Motive is unclear, but omnipotence = opportunity & you can't rule him out
5. Communist Insurgents - Seeking to gain a foothold in cycling, Marxist rebels can never be ruled out when explaining irrational American behavior.

1 comment:

Richard Quick, Millionaire said...

You're correct with bin Laden

According to new government intel, not only is the Tour de Farce fiasco the result of an Al-Qaida plot, so was the Bonds & Rose scandals and JJ's wardrobe malfunction. Sean Kelly's poem tells all at


Richard Quick, Esq.