Monday, December 27, 2010

Time For New Relationship Advice

For the last three years or so, when people ask me for relationship advice, I always answered the same way: "Never take relationship advice from me." Then, of course, I'd still give them my completely unsupported suggestions*. So, now I'm looking for a new standard relationship advice. Here are the ones I'm considering:

  • "If she has an adam's apple, she's a dude."
  • "Yeah, it's not going to work. It's dump or be dumped."
  • "Ask him/her for a threesome -- either it works or you're single again**"
  • "Tell her that you feel it's inappropriate to get married while gay marriage isn't allowed"
  • "You should consider a vow of celibacy"
  • "Let me guess -- s/he's insisting that you get a full-body wax"
  • "Don't sweat it -- everyone has a starter marriage"
  • "How about faking your own death?"
Any suggestions?

* Usually good advice. Sadly, I've never emailed myself for advice.
** Thank you, George!

1 comment:

seanlb said...

that one about gay marriage is my standby, but you can use it too.