Scientists Disprove Conservation of Cookie Matter
Zurich, Switzerland (AP): The first results from the Large Hadron Refrigerator are in -- and scientists have proven that cookie matter is not conserved.
"I had some chocolate chip dough in the fridge for after the 8pm quark smashing and when i returned, there was a noticeable concavity. Normally I would attribute this to Neumann, but he was out on his postal route. I then decided that this had to be explored in detail. After setting up cameras, I've found that somehow the smell of fresh-baked cookies accelerates the loss of matter. We've found that chocolate-chip is most likely to lose mass, followed by snickerdoodles and oatmeal-raisin. Peanut butter seems immune to the phenomenon."
The phenomenon is rumored to have first been seen in East Texas, but no data has been offered.