Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It's Official -- I'm A Dumbass



On my way to the track to run sprints today, I managed to brutally manslaughter (bikeslaughter?) St. Larry FIne*. I was distracted while riding on a bike path. By what, you ask? Normally, it would have been a hot cyclist, pedestrian or the partial nudity common in German advertising. But today? A church. I was trying to figure out what the building was when I ran into a post (it was doing its job of preventing thru traffic rather spectacularly). The front wheel and fork of my bike were mangled and I was tossed over the handlebars, landing on my hands and right knee. Ouch.
WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE and KNEE-NUDITY





Fortunately, my momentum was slowed by said post, leaving a nice straight bruise.


Fortunately a dad and his kid and a nice lady on a bike stopped to help me. They gave me a iodine wipe to clean the wound and offered to help me home. I stumbled off in a daze (which took about 45 minutes to go away), then sheepishly made my way to the track.

On my tram ride home with a mangled bike, I realized that a mild smiting had been laid upon me while looking at a church -- clearly a sign that I need to stay away from holy places. I may be the only person you know who's been given a restraining order by the Man Upstairs! Or I might just be a dumbass. Hard to say. I wonder how Pharaoh felt on the subject?

* My bike, patron saint of easily stolen objects, but not the patron saint of easily distracted cyclists.

6 comments:

Jadarockstar said...

I'm not sure if I should be more sorry for your bike or for you...help me out here...

Chad W. said...

Larry Fine, rest in peace.

Sainthood's going to be tough... do they still require three miracles, or are solid political connections enough these days.

jtingermany said...

I figure Larry has got 2 in the bank -- my jacket wasn't stolen and i had no major injuries despite going from 15-20mph to 0 in about 6 inches. Miracle #3 is TBD.

Jen, Feel sorry for Larry -- he got the worst of it!

seanlb said...

I demand that your next bi-cycle be called "Cycletron".

Brent said...

I TOLD you religion is bad! If it makes you feel better, my skin burns when it contacts Holy Water.

jtingermany said...

Sean - I was hoping my next bike would be a nice one so I could have a Curly. Now it's looking like I'll get a Moe (appropriate since I am kind of angry to be buying another one).

Brent - You'd feel less hostile towards religion if it got you 3 days off in the next 4 weeks :)