- Flying Monkeys - Will do whatever you want without questioning, but that's about it. Too quiet to be interesting, they're strictly short term solutions.
- Toto - Annoyingly loyal, never wants to leave your side. This can be nice at times, but it begins to wear on you.
- Munchkins - Cute, sweet, but ultimately unsatisfying. May also have bizarre hairdos.
- Scarecrow - Just too fing dumb to date. Nice, a great dancer, but not the brightest bulb in the bunch.
- Tin Man - Cold, heartless. Annoy him? It's the axe. Bore him? The axe. Won't put out? The axe. At least he's consistent, though.
- Cowardly Lion** - Scared of commitment to the point of uselessness. Someone to go down the road with for a bit, but you're not looking for apartments in the Emerald City
- Dorothy - Constantly whining about her ex, just can't get over him/her. Eventually she's kicking your ass to the curb with her ruby slippers and going back to him/her.
- The Wizard*** - Bossy, self-centered, sees dates as minions there to do everything for him. Up to, and including, murdering rivals. Nice house and home theater system, though.
- Glinda - "All good witches are pretty" pretty much sums her up. She's hot, knows it, and expects to be treated well because of it.
- The Wicked Witch of the West*** - A bitch, and everyone but her knows it. Still, she's got moxie, which counts for a lot.
To be fair, in the last 10 years or so of dating, I've been a Cowardly Lion, Glinda (briefly), Munchkin, Toto (ugh - so humiliating), and (of course) Tin Man. I've dated almost the entire cast (some played multiple roles!), though I refuse to say who played whom. Unless you ask nicely. Feel free to dish about yourself or your ex's in comments!
* No, I'm not obsessed. I just needed another post.
** This is unfair. It's not like we call them "The Stupid Scarecrow" or "The Heartless Tin Man".
*** I think their names are cool enough to warrant "The" before it.