I always thought my personal trainer was too nice to be real. And tonight I found out I was right. Tonight she was taking measurements*, and talking about what she would do. "I'll take your blood pressure, measure your body fat, circumsize you..." I rudely interrupted to say, "no, you won't be doing that."
Sure, she claims that she meant "measure my waist circumference", but I'm not sure. However, her new get-tough attitude has me resolved to a) work out more regularly and eat right and b) be sure to carefully check out her workout tights to make sure there's no scalpel hidden. At least that's what I'll tell her.
* Spoiler alert: I'm getting fatter. It's quite depressing