You've hit CNNSI, ESPN, even Univision for pre-Super Bowl analysis, all hoping to catch a tip on the winner. Well, I don't have that. What I do have is an in-depth analysis of how the two starting QBs compare on a comedic level.
First, we hit videos. Which one has the best comedy videos on the web? You judge:
Eli Manning - Meek clown of football
Eli Manning - With his brothers on the Simpsons
Tom Brady - shower target of the Family Guy
Tom Brady - On SNL explaining sexual harassment in the workplace:
Verdict: While the Manning's Onion bit was better, Brady takes it with two solid videos, highlighted by his SNL stint. Edge? Brady.
Next? The Onion articles -- Here it's not even close. Manning throws a "big-boy touchdown", declares a favorite down ('"On second down, there's not so much pressure. You can just hang out in the pocket and do what you want without people yelling. I wish every down was second down." Manning later added that his other favorite down is actually when the opposing team has second down, because that's when literally nothing is expected of him.'), and has an infographic:
Brady, meanwhile, had fewer articles, all related to his handsomeness. His female fans checked out of the season in 2008 when he was injured, he sits a game due to not being handsome, coach Belichick throws acid in his face because he was too beautiful, and his autobiography which covers all the awesomeness of being Tom Brady, "From the highest highs of winning two NFL MVP awards and marrying a Brazilian supermodel, to the more moderate highs of being a record-setting quarterback for the University of Michigan, this memoir is very personal and doesn't hold back".
So, final edge? I would say Manning, since all of Brady's jokes revolve around his handsomeness. However, the real winners are us. Because we can mock both of them.