Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Ultimate Worlds 2010 Live Blogging - Day 2

6:30am - Breakfast, complete with a gargantuan line. But Worlds is starting in earnest!

7:30am - We arrive and start warming up. We're pumped, energetic and ready to rumble.

8:15am - Jeremy Codhands, clearly intimidated by our warmup, shows up and rushes to put on cleats. You can smell the fear from them*!

8:32am - After a few turns, we score the first point at Worlds! Booyah! Unfortunately, JC scores the next few.

9:00am-ish - Davide gets whacked when a JC player makes a bid on his catch, so I rush in as an injury sub once I realize they're forcing backhand. I have the disc about 5m outside the endzone and immediately start giving Ines and AC "the look"**. They see it, then cut in rather than going for a huck. I now miss B-Smoove as much as humanly possible. At stall 5, Fred sees an opening and cuts deep*** from the far handler position. I fake the break mark, then throw a monster huck to hit Fred in stride in the middle of the endzone -- the best huck of my life.  And all due to me imagining the goalposts at the back of the endzone were lightposts!

9:30am - JC finishes whomping us and then gives us Lance Armstrong-style wristbands that read "What Would Jeremy Do?" We give them a promise of a visor after I win Kitty-Microwave-Foil.

11:00am - Lunch is chicken quesadillas followed by hours of nothing while we wait for our 16:30 game.

5:30pm - How to describe the game against Gronical Dizziness? Here's how you can reenact it:

  1. Go to the temple of the Ultimate god**** and piss on the altar
  2. As you leave, punch the High Priest in the junk***** and tell him he couldn't sky a frisbee dog
  3. When you get to the field, take a dump in the middle of the endzone.
  4. Sit in said dump, then light yourself on fire

It was that bad. John Starks 2-for-18 in the Finals bad. Two Girls-One Cup bad. Napoleon leaving Moscow bad. Ashlee Simpson at the Orange Bowl bad. We couldn't have beaten Jerry's Kids playing this way, much less a solid team like GD. It was easily the worst game deLux has ever played. Fortunately, Casey saw the whole thing so he now knows that I'm Captain Suckage (except for my hand block). We skip the opening ceremonies to drink with the Sockeye guys, with Sockeye's Ben Wiggins learning to his delight that Meryl's nickname is "Captain Buzz Kill". So we have that going for us.

9:00pm - Freek arrives, too late to help us, but he does cheer us up with his guitar (named, and I'm not kidding, Peni5).  Time to
crash to get ready for the Chad Larson Experience and Freespeed.

* It smells suspiciously like stale Staropramen.
** Not the creepy "look" -- I give that to them after the game
*** Or, possibly, starts running to play D in anticipation of my crap huck.
**** Scooberus
***** It's wrong to punch the High Priestess, so if she's there, shake the shit out of her.

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