Acceptable Status Updates:
- needs to turn the butterfly back into a drunk, incompetent caterpillar
- wore it best
- is a true artist -- he feels things you don't
- is still magnificent
- made the cover of
- Meetings Magazine
- can't stop all the horrible respect people have for me
- thinks this is as crazy as a woman's right to choose... her haircut
- needs to kick ass again -- start by getting rid of the woman
UNacceptable Status Updates:
- thought this was a family, but he guesses it's that Austrian family...
- has a new hair -- it's white and it hurts, but...
- makes great chili and doesn't care if you watch tv during sex
- borrowed your whale-semen candle
- is a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen